I will try to make this as positive as possible, but you must know I'm still a bit in the dark zone. People keep me here, evil souls with poisonous words no one should ever speak!
I start to realise the more I work with people, the more I want to move away from here. Live somewhere deep in the woods, where no other human's are. Surrounded by big beautiful trees, green mountains, wild waters, with lovely animals and amazing views. Peacefully live there, just me and my thoughts... You see, I am the kind of person who needs to be by herself sometimes. I get crazy when I'm surrounded by people all day, all week.
Other people aren't to blame all the time, I get that most of the time it's me. I get frustrated so easily and they don't understand at all why the fuck I need to be alone sometimes, again, really frustrating!
The thing I truly love with all my heart is just listen to music, alone, or quietly read a book, alone, or shut down the curtains and watch Grey's Anatomy, alone, or just draw, alone. But they won't let you do that. There are (cell)phones, email, Facebook, family who they will find when you're off the map (Yes, they will even bother them to get to you!). And because they don't know calmness, they won't let you have some! Like yesterday, I felt depressed for no reason, needed to draw and was in a lovely calm mood with my lovely calm music on the back. When I draw, I need the rest, but for some messed up reason, someone isn't patient enough to just wait one more day for my answer. She doesn't understand, will not understand and I realise I don't understand her also. It's funny when you look at it that way, in our misunderstood world where we're all misunderstood. But at that moment I feel like I'm draging her on my shoulders and she's sucking all calmness out og me with her bloody vampire teeth. At that moment I hate her. At that moment I want to go away, move and go to that lovely place in the woods...
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